OverFlow: What Happens After You Let Go and Before You Begin Again

While you’re finding yourself in the liminal space, you’re also giving birth to your present self. But knowing who you are presently can take some time.

Apr 27, 2025

OverFlow is what happens when I overthink, overflow, and over-everything. When my feelings have nowhere to go, I write about them.

Everyone’s path is different, but we all have the same general map. We know what we need to let go of to start on the path to improvement, but we can’t really tell if we’re at the end of our past selves’ lives or the beginning of our present ones. There is a quiet, liminal space between your past self and who you are currently becoming. Think of yourself as batter on a cake pan in a hot oven—not quite cake yet, but rising steadily to the occasion.

After You Let Go

Everyone focuses on how difficult this step is. Letting go is not an easy process. It requires courage, patience, and a willingness to face uncomfortable emotions and situations. But it is necessary for growth and transformation. And again, this could mean different things to different people. To me, “letting go” has meant:

Grieving the loss of my father, his best friend, and my father-in-law
Saying goodbye to life in the Philippines
Recognizing that therapy and medication can help manage mental health issues
Understanding that people pleasing is, at its core, selfish
Learning to love my body at every size
Breaking up with my past self

In that liminal space, I waited for my present self to emerge. My old beliefs, habits, and patterns were no longer there to distract me from becoming my best (at the moment) self. But—like all good things—I need time to draw the boundaries of my current identity, fall in love with myself completely, and model that love to those in my life.

Finding Yourself in That Liminal Space

So what happens after you let go? After you release the weight of your past self, you may feel emptiness or uncertainty. This is completely normal and natural. Embrace this liminal space and use it as an opportunity to discover who you truly are without all the layers of your past holding you back.

In this moment of self-discovery, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to explore new interests, try out different hobbies, and take risks without fear of judgment or failure. This is a time for growth and experimentation.

Once I started losing weight, I had a hard time seeing what I actually looked like in the mirror. I couldn’t see myself as anything other than what I used to be—fat and unattractive to most people. My brain eventually caught up with the changes in the mirror, but I had to help it along. I see myself in the mirror a lot these days because I maintain a skincare routine. Sort of like exposure therapy mixed with self-care, I guess. And I always feel fancy when wearing jewelry, so I started wearing jewelry all the time. And some clothes I bought early in my weight loss journey finally fit me, so I started wearing them, too.

It’s not just the physical aspect that changes, either. I find now that I enjoy reading more, and my reading pace needs to keep up with that ravenous need to read more. From making fun of meditation, I now look forward to it in multiple forms—in the morning when I wake up, during my daily walk, and right before I sleep.

Before You Begin Again

While you’re finding yourself in the liminal space, you’re also giving birth to your present self. But knowing who you are presently can take some time. You might recognize your new self when you order a tall drink instead of your usual venti. Or it could be while you nod and listen to your neighbor drone on and on about something you’re not interested in. Or, it might happen to you like it happened to me.

One day, I just couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror. It was like I recognized myself completely for the first time ever. I saw what everyone in my family used to tell me—that I looked like my Lola, that my hair was pretty, and that I had my mom’s eyes. I dismissed these observations because I could only see myself as fat and unattractive (to most people).

Now, I see myself how the people who raised me saw me. And because I do, I am more motivated to take care of myself and give myself the time and space just to be myself. I use the scented candles I’ve been saving for a special occasion because I’m the special occasion. I wear new clothes when I’m just hanging out by myself at home. I wear perfume to bed. And I understand that I am deserving of love and more than a little treat, but I also love getting little treats—and that’s perfectly fine.

Miao? Wow!

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