Just Me Being Me: Moving Goalposts vs. Keeping New Year's Resolutions
This year, I chose resolutions to push for physical and mental health improvement while prioritizing self-care and self-love.
Just Me Being Me is literally just me being me, living my life outside my comfort zone when it happens as it happens. Since I’m a dedicated introvert, this doesn’t happen much, which makes it doubly interesting when it does.
I know I said writing on Substack was turning into people pleasing behavior for me, but I just can't help myself. I told my husband with extreme confidence last night that I was going to adjust my Substack publishing schedule to every two weeks instead of every Sunday, and here I am still tip-tapping away on my keyboard after my last workday of the week.
Keeping New Year's Resolutions to Prioritize Self-Care
While my New Year's resolutions last year worked, I didn't feel the contentment and progress I expected at the end of 2024. Instead, I felt tired, overstimulated, and overworked—too stretched out and too unfocused to process my feelings and progress beyond who I am now. This year, I chose resolutions to push for physical and mental health improvement while prioritizing self-care and self-love. I'm aiming to constantly remind myself that these resolutions are for my growth, and not for anyone else's consideration.
Write Daily Notes in a Small Notebook
My husband, Raf, gave me a small notebook (around 4 in x 6 in) sometime in December. It was different from the bigger notebooks (about 6 in x 8 in) I usually choose—but I did keep a notebook like it from my later years in college to when we moved here to the United States. It was a Moleskine from my close friend Jemai. I wonder if maybe my preference for the bigger notebooks played a part in my habit of writing things down slowly disappearing from my life, especially after I left AmplifyPH.
Since the end of my holiday break last January 6, I've started using the small notebook and it's made a real difference in the way I navigate life and keep facts straight in my head. It's also pushed me to revive my work notebook—one of my bigger ones, but still helpful.
Take Notes When Reading Books
Raf also suggested I start taking notes while reading—because he knows how frustrated I get when building my recreational reading habit. I keep having to reread paragraphs because my brain can't seem to take as much information as it did when I was younger, pre-stroke.
This change also means that my resolution from 2024—to read one page a day—will probably continue this year, but only through reading other people's Substacks.
Listen to Albums and Not Playlists
2024 was about falling in love with music as an art form again. After my father died, I was stuck in music as a way to grieve. I listened only to music my Dad loved consistently. While I did break away from that coping mechanism with the introduction of K-pop into my life—through my close friends Miko and Sasha—I still find it hard to discover and get lost in and love new music.
After the disappointing Spotify Wrapped results I got, I decided to change the way I listened to music daily. Instead of picking out a playlist created by the platform's algorithm, I'd choose albums. This week has been a rediscovery of Bjork, with a dash of Clara Benin and Carly Rae Jepsen. This morning, I found myself crying as I listened to Bjork's "Hyperballad." I'm finding that I connect to the "old" music I liked in the past differently now, as someone who's worked hard on improving herself.
Cook Recipes I Like Instead of Making Something From Pantry Leftovers
Like keeping pambahay and panlabas separate, cooking food from pantry leftovers results from intergenerational trauma. This is probably from the time of World War II, or even earlier. While the trauma didn't start with me, it affects how I live. Now that I feel like I'm healed enough from stuff I did to myself, it's time to deal with stuff that's been passed down to me.
Raf's also been tracking his macronutrients recently—maybe it's one of his New Year's resolutions—so I've been trying to adjust our pantry inventory, meal-prepping, and recipe rotation to best fit both our needs.
Stick to Walking Every Day
This is the big one, and I haven't even started on it yet. I was supposed to start last Monday, but I began the workday by taking all my morning medications and then promptly vomiting. That sort of colored the rest of the day, and with me catching up at work, too, there was just no motivation to start walking again in the freezing cold of a desert winter in Vegas.
Raf got me a new Fitbit and new shoes—probably to inspire me and get me started walking daily again—and they arrived this week. I love him and how much he supports maintaining my health and also lets me make my own decisions.
Trying To Make 2025 the Year of Settling Into Adulthood
I know—I'm a woman in her 40s. Of course, I'm an adult. But I'm not really good at being one. If there's anything I've learned from New Year's resolutions, it's that self-improvement is a consistent goal of adulthood. People say that "moving goalposts" is bad, but I think that happens every December for most people. What are New Year's resolutions but moving goalposts in your life because you've already grown past the ones you set the year before?
The error I made last year was focusing only on the goal and not the journey to get there. I didn't look up from the path, didn't enjoy the view, didn't take notes for later processing, and didn't grow where it mattered. I was overstimulated, overworked, and over everything before it even began. Hopefully, I've learned my lesson and can adjust for a better chance of growth this year.
What Are You Working on for 2025?
I've told you what my New Year's resolutions are. What about you? What are you working on this year? Tell me all about it—I'd love to hear from you.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
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