Just Me Being Me: What It Feels Like to Be the Girl Who Cried "Wolf!"
Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon!
Just Me Being Me is literally just me being me, living my life outside my comfort zone when it happens as it happens. Since I’m a dedicated introvert, this doesn’t happen much, which makes it doubly interesting when it does.
Yes, yes. I’m late. I said I’d come back, didn’t I? You and I didn’t know then that it would take me more than a few months—years, even—to keep that promise. I feel like I’m a different person now. My brain and heart prioritize other things now than when I started this Substack. I don’t think I’m a better writer, poet, or storyteller, although I might be a better editor.
If you’ve held on for this long, staying on my mailing list and hoping I’d get over myself and finally send you something, thank you. Here I am! Hopefully, the wait for this girl who cried “Wolf” was worth it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I present as my present to you: myself, again crying, “Wolf!”
So what’s happened since the last time we corresponded? To keep it short, let’s do bullet points:
Raf and I went to the Mob Museum in Vegas in July 2021
Raf’s Mom visited us in Vegas from September 2021 to February 2022
Raf and I attended his sister’s wedding in Philadelphia in October 2021
Raf and I visited friends in New York in October 2021
Two of our best friends, Miko and Sasha, visited us in Vegas in April 2022
I got a full-time remote job in September 2022
Raf and I attended couples therapy from October 2022 to June 2023
I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in March 2023
I started taking Ozempic in April 2023
One of my best friends, Six the Northstar, visited us in Vegas in April 2023
Raf and I watched Suga of BTS in Oakland, SF, in May 2023
Raf and I watched TWICE in Oakland, SF, in June 2023
Raf and I visited the Philippines from September to October 2023
I finally got my problem wisdom teeth extracted on December 2023
Between these events, Raf and I turned 40 and learned how to be better adults. He is learning how to navigate the world again without a wheelchair (most of the time), while I am learning how to adjust my dietary and exercise habits to be healthier now that I have diabetes. Loaf’s senior dog lifestyle is all about comfort and coziness—he has pillows and blankets everywhere, and I try to walk him multiple times daily.
On a more personal note, I am working on unlearning unhealthy behaviors that prevent me from connecting with people who are important to me. I’m also looking to rebuild my relationship with reading, which I lost when I went through my stroke. I’ve doubled down on my letter-writing hobby because of these two goals. I’m also adding more recipes to my cookbook because Raf and I want to order less and use what’s in our pantry more often. It’s also a great way to allow myself sweets—if I bake them myself, I know how much sugar’s in them. I’m also working on learning healthy behaviors—self-care, basically—like developing a skincare routine and trying to read a little bit before I sleep.
There are no significant, sweeping changes here—but there are a lot of little ones that add up. Hopefully, I’ll get back to the kind of writing that got you reading my work soon enough. Okay. I may be crying, “Wolf!” At the very least, I can promise to try to come back next month to keep up this Substack.
How were your holidays? Tell me about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of it. I hope you had a truly merry Christmas and are experiencing a favorable start to your 2024.
Photo by Christal Yuen on Unsplash
If you’ve enjoyed reading this or something else I’ve written, please consider buying me a coffee. ☕ Thank you!