OverFlow: Have You Met Your Shadow?
Shadow work can bring you closer to yourself, but it can also be exhausting.
OverFlow is what happens when I overthink, overflow, and over-everything. When my feelings have nowhere to go, I write about them.
First, let’s get this out of the way: I am not an expert on shadow work or a mental health professional of any kind. I started working on myself last year because there was nothing else to do at home, and now here I am. I’ve also found that practicing witchcraft is much easier with a foundation of shadow work.
Does Everyone Have a Shadow?
Yes. But for some people, it may come with a different name. In general, it’s the part of you that’s composed of parts you’ve rejected in the past. These are facets of your personality, way of thinking, and painful memories that you’ve tucked away in a closet in your brain because you don’t want to be reminded of them.
A lot of what your shadow is can be formed in early childhood. When a parent or caregiver scolded you for being too loud, you might have reacted by suppressing that personality trait and turning it into part of your shadow. It’s important to remember, though, that our parents and caregivers are not completely responsible for how we reacted to the way they brought us up. We also have a hand in shaping our shadow.
How Do You Do Shadow Work?
When I started doing shadow work, I began by looking at my family. After all, most of my shadow developed when I was young and in their care. It’s about being honest enough to identify what’s not agreeable with certain family members. Look for qualities that you find difficulty accepting — like addictive behavior or being prone to gossip — and then assess yourself to see if those qualities have transferred to you. With this exercise, you might also find yourself understanding why certain family members acted in ways you didn’t understand when you were young.
After you’re done looking at your family — and have started re-parenting yourself — the next step is to think about people whose actions often trigger you. This could be someone you know personally or someone you follow on social media. You could also just think of your “pet peeves” — things that strangers do that you pick up on when you’re in public. This exercise is as painful as it is illuminating. What we find distasteful and annoying is often part of our shadow. We don’t like it because, deep inside, it reminds us of a part of ourselves that’s hidden. We can also dislike something because we want to emulate it, but our shadow keeps us from doing so.
From time to time, you’ll need to confront your shadow. Do this enough times and you’ll eventually be left with nothing but light inside. I’ve done this by accepting my inherited behaviors and letting go of the blame I’d assigned to family members for bringing me up a certain way. I’ve done this by dissecting why I distance myself from certain friends or find them unrelatable, and then connecting with them and explaining how our relationships have been hampered by my shadow.
Because of practicing witchcraft, I’ve also regularly meditated and struggled to accept my shadow. Every new moon, I manifest increased intuition and acceptance of parts of myself I still don’t like. I release feelings of fear, insecurity, doubt, and shame.
What Does Your Shadow Look Like?
When you’re done with shadow work — or even while you’re in the middle of it — you might find that you no longer recognize yourself. You might become a whole different person once you’ve reintegrated parts of your shadow self with the part you show everyone else.
I find that I’m changing every day. I don’t know when I’ll be done getting to know my shadow, but I’m finding that it’s much larger than the entirety of what I’ve always known about myself! What about you?
Photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash
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