OverFlow: How to Survive Falling Off the Wagon
Or, at the very least, how to accept that it happened.
OverFlow is what happens when I overthink, overflow, and over-everything. When my feelings have nowhere to go, I write about them.
For two years in a row, I’ve started a fitness and wellness routine during my birthday month — only to slowly run out of steam and have every self-improvement-related habit grind to a halt long before the height of winter. Just in time to feel bad around January, when it feels like the whole world is reassessing their past 365 days.
What do I keep on doing wrong? I ask myself that question daily but deep down I know the answer: I’m my own worst enemy. I betray myself constantly. There’s self-deception in each time I think, “Maybe tomorrow.” Why do I allow myself to get away with the blatant disrespect and disregard for my well-being?
Why Is It So Easy to Stop Doing What Makes You Happy?
I loved walking every day. I loved how I felt when I was doing intermittent fasting. It made me happy. Why did I stop? I’d probably have a better shot at answering these questions if I went to therapy — but even though I know that it will be 100% good for me, I never go.
Here’s what I know: It’s destructive to not have the sense of self-preservation to do all that it takes to survive. You’d think survival would be instinctive for humans — and it is! — but the type of survival that our brains are hardwired to maintain is no real way to live.
Humans are complicated. But when we get right down to it, we don’t really need much to keep on breathing. Our survival instincts are just enough to get us through to the next day. It involves a lot of numbing and forgetting, and very little introspection.
The truth is, our brains don’t think happiness is essential for survival. When the going gets tough, we drop things like wanting to be healthier or wanting to be more in touch with ourselves. Once we’re faced with an obstacle that seems insurmountable — like an unexpectedly large expense or an unavoidable time sink — and go back to how we were before.
At least, that’s what happened to me.
How Can You Motivate Yourself to Get Back on the Saddle?
First, let’s avoid mixing metaphors. 🙃 It’s not helping anyone. All it’s doing is reminding me of my day job.
Seriously speaking, though, finding motivation after multiple failures is hard. You don’t want to let yourself down by failing again. But you’re already letting yourself down by not getting back up after the last fall! It feels like there’s no path to betterment — unless you redefine what success is to you.
I know that I was a happier person when I was working out, counting calories, setting aside time for regular meditation, listening to myself, and making an effort to be more in touch with the universe. It’s not escaped my attention that when I’m not happy, it’s harder to hear my inner voice and follow my intuition.
What if I define success as finding my way back to myself, instead of basing it on fitness cues or routines or habits? It’s essentially the same thing but from a different angle. It’s worth a shot.
What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?
You already know what mine is: Accept that falling off the wagon isn’t so bad, and get up so I can try again. This time, though, I’m fixing my mindset first.
What about you? Tell me.
Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash
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