OverFlow: Do You Put Yourself First?
It's something I've been training myself to do, recently. What a difference it makes!
OverFlow is what happens when I overthink, overflow, and over-everything. When my feelings have nowhere to go, I write about them.
When it comes to working on my shadow and getting to know my inner child, this is the most difficult thing to learn how to do. Putting myself first doesn’t come naturally to a lifelong people-pleaser—even one that’s stopped trying to please everyone.
What Happens When You Put Yourself First?
It’s magick of a temporal kind. When you make time for yourself—your self-care habits, your meditations, your rest—everything else seems to take a lot less time. I’ve experienced it first hand these past few weeks, and it’s magick or some other sort of miracle.
I’ve really been trying to get up early and start a morning self-care routine that involves brushing my teeth—I just got an electric toothbrush—and doing skincare. I’ve been spending about an hour by myself in the mornings, these days. I wake up slowly and then slowly go through my routine. Sometimes, I even have coffee and breakfast with Raf. This means that I start working much later.
But when I make time for myself and for things that I love—like breakfast with the love of my life—it feels like time bends itself back to fit in all my work hours before the sun comes down. I don’t end up working well into the night. It feels like having your cake and eating it, too.
My therapist says that putting myself first works this way because it changes my mindset. With that different way of thinking, I’m able to work harder and quicker. I still think magick has something to do with it, though.
How Do You Avoid Being a People-Pleaser?
If I knew how different my life would be without being a people-pleaser, I’d have made the change years ago—but hindsight is 20/20.
Unlearning now to be a people-pleaser wasn’t easy. Every single time I wanted to do something nice for someone, I’d think to myself, “Am I doing it for them or am I doing it because being dependable and helpful gives me an ego boost? Am I offering to be nice just because I want them to be nice back?” When you answer those questions thoughtfully and without any filter, you’ll be surprised by what you find.
The truth is that people-pleasing, ultimately, pleases you. This doesn’t take away from the fact that what you do may be truly helpful and appreciated by others. It just adds some perspective to the actions that may have eaten up your time and energy throughout your entire life.
How Have You Been Since the Full Moon Eclipse?
My journey into putting myself first began during the last full moon. It was one of my manifestations to trust and believe in myself completely. Self-love is something I’m really making part of my life now.
While I’m not an expert in astrology, I do love coincidences and big cosmic events. So I’ve given myself until June 10, 2021—when an annular solar eclipse will happen—to meditate, get to know myself, and manifest the hell out of everything I want for now and beyond. Did you know the eclipses often happen in trios or pairs? I’d never noticed until I really got into following the moon cycles.
What are you manifesting for yourself? Are you looking forward to the annular solar eclipse? Tell me or tell a friend.
We all need to be reconnecting with people that make us feel happy and heard. I know that I often get tired of socializing—even online—but doing so is also part of putting myself first. I don’t want to grow old without any friends! So I’m getting over my anxieties little by little, sometimes through this newsletter, and sometimes by going further and reaching out to a friend or two. Hope you’re doing the same.
Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash
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