Just Me Being Me: What Can I Say About Route 196 That Hasn't Already Been Mentioned Countless Times?
Route 196 wasn’t really my home bar, but it was Katipunan’s. It was Amplify.ph’s. And that meant it could be mine, too, if I wanted it to be.
Just Me Being Me is literally just me being me, living my life outside my comfort zone when it happens as it happens. Since I’m a dedicated introvert, this doesn’t happen much, which makes it doubly interesting when it does.
Last week, one of my favorite gig venues closed permanently.
I left the Philippines more than a year ago. The last few weeks in Metro Manila are a blur, to be honest. We had a list of things we wanted to do and places we wanted to go to and people we wanted to see before we left.
One of my biggest regrets is not taking the time to stop by Route 196 and have one last order of Deviled Tofu before we flew out to Nevada.
Why Does This Grief Feel So… Awkward?
I’m not the one to write a tribute to Route 196. It means so much more to other people than it does to me. There’s a part of my personal history that I can’t separate from that bar and restaurant, though—and it’s been hard grieving from so far away.
Route 196 wasn’t the first gig venue I went to as a budding music enthusiast. That was Club Dredd’s KM 19 EDSA incarnation during the late 1990s, with my older brother.
It wasn’t the first gig venue where I mounted a production. That was K.A.F.E. in the early 2000s, with Friday Vibe along with Charlemagne (a.k.a. Los Magno, later to be known as the frontman of the Out of Body Special).
It wasn’t even the first gig venue I performed at as A Problem Like Maria. That was Buddha Bar in the early 2010s, with Six the Northstar and DJ Pao, for Fete Dela Musique’s Chillout Stage.
Having laid all this information out, though, it just feels like an origin story—or my personal take on one of their last hashtags: #AllRoadsLeadtoRoute.
What Does Route 196 Mean to Me?
There may be other places that I carry in my heart, but that doesn’t diminish what I feel for Route 196.
It was the first gig venue where I celebrated my birthday. I did it twice, too.
The first time coincided with my first official performance as part of The Cellar Doors. My friends and family all came through to support me, even my in-laws and parents. I blew a cake on stage and sang my heart out.
The second time coincided with one of Amplify.ph’s anniversary gigs, which we customarily held at Route 196. I remember crying, back pressed up against the wall of the main area, feeling all my feelings as I listened to my then-neighbor—and, let’s be honest, songwriting idol—Ebe Dancel deliver a breathtaking performance.
Route 196 wasn’t really my home bar, but it was Katipunan’s. It was Amplify.ph’s. And that meant it could be mine, too, if I wanted it to be.
I appreciated the homey and laid back atmosphere, the kind and patient staff, the bright lights and dark corners, and the feeling that I was always welcome, no matter what. It was electrifying and comforting at the same time.
You could say that there was magic in the air, and I felt it when I walked in.
So Long, Farewell—and See You When I See You
Route 196 wasn’t the only venue where I performed (that’s me on the Route stage in the photo in this post!), and to be honest, it wasn’t my favorite—as a Cubao native, that honor goes to Catch272, which was engulfed in flames two months ago. (As you might have noticed, I haven’t written about that—not yet and probably not ever. It hurts that much.)
But at Route, I was always Miao from Amplify.ph, even when I was on the list of performers. It was a safe space for me to flex what it meant to work a dream job for a company I believed in, where I met and discovered new artists, where we put up company-sponsored events, and where we trusted our interns to experience the realities of the local music scene.
I might never come back to the Philippines, but I will always come back to Route—even if it’s only in my dreams.
Photo by Gab Pili
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